For the Love of the Game

Where were you on July 7, 1978? I was a baseball loving 9 yr old boy living in Queensbury NY. I was watching a baseball game, a NY Mets game. I don't remember who they were playing or if they won(they lost to the Cubs, I looked it up) but I do remember something else. A sports update for the NY Yankees game. The game I really wanted to watch but couldn't. The Yankees were playing the Milwaukee Brewers and the Brewers were killing them. Some player named Larry Hisle hit two home runs against Ron Guidry. I watched those highlights totally shocked and in disbelief. I thought nobody could do that. Guidry had been invincible, dominating and nasty. We were told that Hisle had been added to the all star game lineup. I didn't know who Hisle was but he had to be awesome. Guidry would lose that day, his first loss of the season against 13 victories but he ended the season with 25 wins and just 3 losses and was the leagues most valuable player(MVP).

Larry Hisle was a good hitter and an all-star that year but perhaps he wasn't quite as good as I had esteemed him to be. That day though, I became fascinated with the Milwaukee Brewers. I could never have guessed how significant that would become until much later. It was going to alter the course of my life and I didn't know it.

Who's Building Your House?

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. Psalm 127:1

By the time I was married I was fully aware of what the bible says about love and marriage. I knew that marriage was created by God in my mind but knew nothing about letting him direct it in my life. You see for many years I had been telling myself I'll never get divorced. That might sound good to you but for me that became the standard for marriage. While God created marriage and will never tear down a house he is building, there is much more to it.

Truthfully, I had created my own standard for a good marriage. I had lowered the bar dramatically and the consequences could have been drastic. But God was very gracious and patient. God's desire is for me to love my spouse as my own body. I should nourish and cherish her as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Imagine if your wife asked you what kind of marriage you want to have. How would you answer? Do you think she'd be satisfied with the fact that you'd never leave her? Or would she want something far richer, deeper, and meaningful. She'd want to be pursued, truly loved, accepted. She would want your heart fully. She would want to know that she is captivating and the only one. She would want you to trust her with deep things you thought you'd never tell anyone.

God's standard for marriage is more lofty than mine but maybe I'm coming around. How about you?

17 Amazing Years

Even So

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word," Eph 5:25,26

In our world today it seems all we can see is conflict. Nation against nation, brother against brother, and yes even husband against wife. Divorce rates remain around 50 percent for all marriages and it's not much better in the church. This is a sad reality that is a stark departure from the biblical pattern. A better way is for "Husbands, love your wives."

Paul says in 1Cor 13 that true love suffereth long. True love is not easily provoked, beareth all things, and endureth all things. Indeed love is patient. It will forbear and endure when tested. When your spouse wrongs you how will respond? Will you get defensive or lash out in anger? Or could you turn to the One who can help you to love? It is risky to love when it doesn't seem to be reciprocated. That is precisely who Jesus was and is. He was despised and rejected. Insults were hurled at him, and he was mocked and yet, "for the joy set before him endured the cross despising it's shame." If you are a disciple of Jesus this is possible but it is a narrow, lonely, and painful path. We must choose it.

Many years ago I was delighted to attend the Rev. and Mrs. Joe Geive's 50th wedding anniversary. It was an awesome occasion. On that day I learned the secret of their marriage. My grandmother said,"I decided from the beginning that I would love him even so." Even so! That is the patient love that is necessary for an enduring marriage.

Our love for our wife must be kind, and rejoiceth in the truth, and hopeth all things. It should be an encouraging love that builds up and doesn't tear down. That through this love she might be so edified that she may easily experience a love not only from her husband but especially her saviour. It will be just as Jesus sanctifies his church with the precious word of God. We too should endeavor to minister unto our wives with the very words of God.

As Joe Greive said, "Until God by death shall separate us, or until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." Love your wife even so.

When Divorce Does Happen

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. John 8:7

No one sets sets out in their marriage relationship determined to get divorced. Clearly they were in love on their wedding day. What happened? Obviously divorce happens far too frequently. But how should we respond? I think their is a good deal of shame when someone gets divorce. They might think, "What wrong with me?" or "I'm such a failure." This will never be easy.

When a marriage ends to divorce the bible calls that adultery. Adultery is more than infidelity, it is a breaking of the marriage covenant. In fact there might not be any infidelity involved. So what should you do if you're divorced? Live. Move on. In John 8 an adulteress woman is brought before Jesus and in this case there is infidelity occurring. Jesus seeing there are no accusers tells her he does not condemn her either. But he does says,"go, and sin no more."

We can all learn from our mistakes. When we see our sin, we can trust Jesus for forgiveness. He paid for all our sin on the cross and when we confess he is Lord and believe God raised him from the dead we are saved. He promises to forgive and he cannot lie. If you are married, receive Jesus. If you're divorced, receive Jesus. And one day maybe God will bring another mate along.

Math Quiz: Seventy Times Seven

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21,22

If you and think for a minute, you can probably recall some person that has deeply hurt or offended you. If you've lived a truly charmed life and haven't been hurt like this then perhaps you know of someone else who has been deeply hurt. There is a raw pain to being wronged. Sometimes we might think about getting even. I mean this really hurts and it's not fair because well, you're a good person.

Now that I conjured up your emotions, think for a minute about someone that you have hurt. If you have a hard time thinking of someone you're probably in denial. The very same emotional response that you experienced when you were wronged you caused in someone else's life. Ouch! We all need to get to a place where we recognize our sin even in situations where we were wronged. We sin and it causes real problems for ourselves and others.

From here we can begin to see our own need for forgiveness. First from God. Our sin is an offence against a holy God. And we need others to forgive us. Jesus taught in the Lord's prayer "and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors."

In marriage, this need to forgive and be forgiven is intensified. I say things, do things, and have ambivalent attitudes that hurt. I have a knack for justifying it all and blaming others. Jesus was an example for us to follow in regards to forgiveness. He said on the cross,"Father forgive them." While he was being crucified. There is no free pass on forgiveness. It is a spiritual thing that we must do. I can not by my own will forgive. I need God's help. I have to ask Him.

How often should you forgive your wife? Jesus says,"until seventy times seven."

Her Children Say,"You Rock"

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Prov 31:26,28

Early in marriage I had an interesting discussion with my wife. She had asked me about the direction our family was heading. At first I had winced anticipating the discussion to follow. But actually it was a good question then and it's a question we all need to keep asking ourselves and our Lord.

We had just had our first child, I was working, and Deja was immersing herself in motherhood. We were living in a new city, became members at a church, and we had some good friends. But Deja wanted to know what our purpose(s) were and what was next. This certainly didn't start as a fun conversation and I'll admit I was a little defensive. My answer though, thank the Lord, came straight from heaven. In fact it is still a guiding principal in our marriage today.

I answered,"We are just a family that lives in Albany, we have a church home, friends, I go to work, we have a daughter, and you are providing the atmosphere for our family to thrive." It seemed that all of her concerns vanished immediately and she was encouraged greatly.

When our homes are filled with love and our words are filled with kindness we thrive. The tongue does have the power of life and death. A godly woman speaks with wisdom and truth and kindness. Her hearers are receptive. Her children and her husband will praise her. In our house they say,"You rock!"

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Prov 25:11