Who's Building Your House?

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. Psalm 127:1

By the time I was married I was fully aware of what the bible says about love and marriage. I knew that marriage was created by God in my mind but knew nothing about letting him direct it in my life. You see for many years I had been telling myself I'll never get divorced. That might sound good to you but for me that became the standard for marriage. While God created marriage and will never tear down a house he is building, there is much more to it.

Truthfully, I had created my own standard for a good marriage. I had lowered the bar dramatically and the consequences could have been drastic. But God was very gracious and patient. God's desire is for me to love my spouse as my own body. I should nourish and cherish her as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Imagine if your wife asked you what kind of marriage you want to have. How would you answer? Do you think she'd be satisfied with the fact that you'd never leave her? Or would she want something far richer, deeper, and meaningful. She'd want to be pursued, truly loved, accepted. She would want your heart fully. She would want to know that she is captivating and the only one. She would want you to trust her with deep things you thought you'd never tell anyone.

God's standard for marriage is more lofty than mine but maybe I'm coming around. How about you?

17 Amazing Years

Even So

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word," Eph 5:25,26

In our world today it seems all we can see is conflict. Nation against nation, brother against brother, and yes even husband against wife. Divorce rates remain around 50 percent for all marriages and it's not much better in the church. This is a sad reality that is a stark departure from the biblical pattern. A better way is for "Husbands, love your wives."

Paul says in 1Cor 13 that true love suffereth long. True love is not easily provoked, beareth all things, and endureth all things. Indeed love is patient. It will forbear and endure when tested. When your spouse wrongs you how will respond? Will you get defensive or lash out in anger? Or could you turn to the One who can help you to love? It is risky to love when it doesn't seem to be reciprocated. That is precisely who Jesus was and is. He was despised and rejected. Insults were hurled at him, and he was mocked and yet, "for the joy set before him endured the cross despising it's shame." If you are a disciple of Jesus this is possible but it is a narrow, lonely, and painful path. We must choose it.

Many years ago I was delighted to attend the Rev. and Mrs. Joe Geive's 50th wedding anniversary. It was an awesome occasion. On that day I learned the secret of their marriage. My grandmother said,"I decided from the beginning that I would love him even so." Even so! That is the patient love that is necessary for an enduring marriage.

Our love for our wife must be kind, and rejoiceth in the truth, and hopeth all things. It should be an encouraging love that builds up and doesn't tear down. That through this love she might be so edified that she may easily experience a love not only from her husband but especially her saviour. It will be just as Jesus sanctifies his church with the precious word of God. We too should endeavor to minister unto our wives with the very words of God.

As Joe Greive said, "Until God by death shall separate us, or until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." Love your wife even so.

When Divorce Does Happen

So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. John 8:7

No one sets sets out in their marriage relationship determined to get divorced. Clearly they were in love on their wedding day. What happened? Obviously divorce happens far too frequently. But how should we respond? I think their is a good deal of shame when someone gets divorce. They might think, "What wrong with me?" or "I'm such a failure." This will never be easy.

When a marriage ends to divorce the bible calls that adultery. Adultery is more than infidelity, it is a breaking of the marriage covenant. In fact there might not be any infidelity involved. So what should you do if you're divorced? Live. Move on. In John 8 an adulteress woman is brought before Jesus and in this case there is infidelity occurring. Jesus seeing there are no accusers tells her he does not condemn her either. But he does says,"go, and sin no more."

We can all learn from our mistakes. When we see our sin, we can trust Jesus for forgiveness. He paid for all our sin on the cross and when we confess he is Lord and believe God raised him from the dead we are saved. He promises to forgive and he cannot lie. If you are married, receive Jesus. If you're divorced, receive Jesus. And one day maybe God will bring another mate along.

Math Quiz: Seventy Times Seven

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21,22

If you and think for a minute, you can probably recall some person that has deeply hurt or offended you. If you've lived a truly charmed life and haven't been hurt like this then perhaps you know of someone else who has been deeply hurt. There is a raw pain to being wronged. Sometimes we might think about getting even. I mean this really hurts and it's not fair because well, you're a good person.

Now that I conjured up your emotions, think for a minute about someone that you have hurt. If you have a hard time thinking of someone you're probably in denial. The very same emotional response that you experienced when you were wronged you caused in someone else's life. Ouch! We all need to get to a place where we recognize our sin even in situations where we were wronged. We sin and it causes real problems for ourselves and others.

From here we can begin to see our own need for forgiveness. First from God. Our sin is an offence against a holy God. And we need others to forgive us. Jesus taught in the Lord's prayer "and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors."

In marriage, this need to forgive and be forgiven is intensified. I say things, do things, and have ambivalent attitudes that hurt. I have a knack for justifying it all and blaming others. Jesus was an example for us to follow in regards to forgiveness. He said on the cross,"Father forgive them." While he was being crucified. There is no free pass on forgiveness. It is a spiritual thing that we must do. I can not by my own will forgive. I need God's help. I have to ask Him.

How often should you forgive your wife? Jesus says,"until seventy times seven."

Her Children Say,"You Rock"

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Prov 31:26,28

Early in marriage I had an interesting discussion with my wife. She had asked me about the direction our family was heading. At first I had winced anticipating the discussion to follow. But actually it was a good question then and it's a question we all need to keep asking ourselves and our Lord.

We had just had our first child, I was working, and Deja was immersing herself in motherhood. We were living in a new city, became members at a church, and we had some good friends. But Deja wanted to know what our purpose(s) were and what was next. This certainly didn't start as a fun conversation and I'll admit I was a little defensive. My answer though, thank the Lord, came straight from heaven. In fact it is still a guiding principal in our marriage today.

I answered,"We are just a family that lives in Albany, we have a church home, friends, I go to work, we have a daughter, and you are providing the atmosphere for our family to thrive." It seemed that all of her concerns vanished immediately and she was encouraged greatly.

When our homes are filled with love and our words are filled with kindness we thrive. The tongue does have the power of life and death. A godly woman speaks with wisdom and truth and kindness. Her hearers are receptive. Her children and her husband will praise her. In our house they say,"You rock!"

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Prov 25:11

The Watering Hole

She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. v13
She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. v14
She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. v15
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. v16
She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. v17

This godly young woman is unlike most girls from today. She "worketh willingly with her hands." She will not be seen carousing about or pursuing vain things. Even though this is a wealthy woman, hard work and physical labor are not beneath her. Prov 6:6 says, "Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise." Poverty has a way of following slothfulness but a godly wife would never do such harm to her husband.

You remember the story from Gen 24, how Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac. The Lord brought Rebekah to the well and she served the stranger servant. "And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking." Gen24:19. Camels drink an awful lot of water after a long journey. There was no spicket to turn on nor was there a hose. This was done by drawing the water out of the well one pitcher at a time, upwards of 40 gallons per camel. It would require multiple trips to water just one camel. This was how the Lord showed the servant which girl Isaac would marry.

"She girded her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms." A godly young woman should be about hard work, even physical labor, like Rebekah who served a stranger. Where was Rebekah found? At the watering hole. What was your bride doing when you found her? Where will your daughters be when God brings along their future husband. If she is like Rebekah then there is no cause for concern, her works will be manifest before long.

Behind Any Good Man...

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her Prov 31:10-11

This wise mother knows something very important. After imploring her son to keep his way from strange women, alcohol, and to know God and serve Him, her son needs to remember one more thing. It is so important that she tells him about it in an acrostic poem lest he should forget. Even if a young man heeds the aforementioned wisdom he must also choose the right wife. This choice is so important that it could undue any good he has done.

"Who can find a virtuous woman?" Indeed she is as rare as a precious stone and way more valuable. Notice the emphasis on internal character and not outward beauty. That is how it is with our Lord. He knows our thoughts and not just the works we do but why we do them. Note too that for a believing christian there is no room for marrying an unbeliever. The virtuous woman's character is not as a result of trying hard or of her self will but rather of God's own spirit living in her. She has Christ's righteousness.

Where will he find the virtuous woman? Why is she so elusive? Don't look for her where the world would look. She won't be there. Avoid the sorts of places that worldly women cavort and where spirits are consumed. Serve God and God will bring her to you.

"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her." Amen. I have joy and peace when leaving my own precious wife as I go to work each day. I have complete confidence that she will manage our home affairs and lovingly care for our children. She does me good and not evil all the days of my life. On our wedding day she promised,"Where you go, I'll go, your people will be my people, and your God my God." Yes!

Thank you Lord for a beautiful, precious, virtuous wife. Please be with her and protect her especially when I'm not home, in Jesus name.

Prov 31 Recipe for a Good Husband Pt 4

Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings. 4It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: 5Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted. Prov31:3-5

Finally after believing in the name of God's only son, and being wary of a sensual lifestyle, a young man must be involved in kingdom business. A prince or a king should care deeply about the welfare of those under his authority. Having compassion on those who are afflicted, perishing, impoverished, poor, and needy is essential in the kingdom. God loves the weak, the poor, the orphan and the widow.

Similarly, as Christ followers we should be tenderhearted towards those around us. Even those who hate us and reject Jesus should be loved and prayed for. Jesus saw the crowds, how they were helpless and harrassed and had compassion. Peter says that God is "longsuffering to usward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."

Young men should love the brethern and be involved in service. Recognizing mans greatest need for a saviour, they should always be looking for opportunities to bring others to a saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I pray you find yourself on the right path. Follow Jesus, fix your eyes on him and He will make your paths straight.

Prov 31 Recipe for a Good Husband Pt 3

Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings. 4It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: 5Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted. Prov31:3-5

As we have seen, there is a strong warning here against sensuous living. We like the type of Christianity that pleases us. We are comfortable when there are no hard choices to make, our conversations are superficial, we avoid telling the truth, we only love those who love us, and we are entertained in church instead of worshipping the Holy One. Don't be fooled, self denial and taking up your cross and following Jesus is the christian life. Waiting for marriage to experience intimacy and abstaining from alcohol are just two important ways to keep yourself in the race.

There is some other essential things to consider though. It says, "Lest they drink, and forget the law." Well we must know the law. We must know God's word. We should meditate on it day and night. We should hide it in our heart so that we don't sin against God. But we can't know God's word or spiritual things without knowing God. The bible says, "faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God." We must have a relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins. This is the most important point. What ever little we could ever do or avoid doing will flow out of our relationship with Jesus.

Know Him. Know his word.

Prov 31 Recipe for a Good Husband Pt 2

Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings. 4It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: 5Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted. Prov31:3-5

"It is not for kings to drink wine." Sadly, things are very similar today as they were in the days of king Lemuel. Really, alcohol is an even more dangerous threat. I'm so thankful that I saw the destructive effects that a strong drink can have on a young person. I knew that it wasn't for me. Sadly, alcohol can very much be an idol in a young persons life. A man told me once that alcohol used to be his best friend. That is truly sad.

A young person should abstain from alcohol. It is common today to hear Christians say,"as long as I don't get drunk." Ephesians 5:18 says,"And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit." It doesn't give permission to drink moderately, it admonishes us to be Spirit filled, singing spiritual songs, hymns, and hymns. That's all together different isn't it?

Another common reason Christians use to consume alcohol is, "I'm under grace or I have freedom in Christ." They actually use the death of our saviour as a justification for drinking. Gal 5:13 says, "For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh." The liberty we have should cause us to love and serve our brethren not gratify our own lust.

The dangers of an entangling addiction should keep us away from alcohol. Christians have no business playing around with mind altering substances. I beg you to abstain from alcohol. If you don't, "it will biteth like a serpent."

Prov 31 Recipe For a Good Husband Pt 1

Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings. 4It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: 5Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted. Prov31:3-5

Prov 31 is a chapter most often thought to be about women. While to a degree this is true, really it is written to a young man. It is advice from a very wise and godly mother to her son. Men and young men please pay attention. Prov 31 is definitely for you. Women this is the advice you should give your son. Prov 31 is for you. Young women this is what to look for in a future husband. Prov 31 is for you. It is a message I wish I had heard when I was young.

"Give not thy strength unto woman." In our world, in this culture, there is nothing to sidetrack and cause a young man to go in the wrong direction than in relationships with the opposite sex. Paul says,"it is good for a man not to touch a woman." This applies to anyone not yet ready for marriage. That's extreme don't you think? No, entering marriage without previous emotional, spiritual, and physical entanglements will prove very beneficial. It will make your marriage that much more special. Your wife will know that you are set apart for her only. She will feel special. She will know that you are trustworthy and are able to maintain self control. This is a great foundation for a good marriage.

Younger women, suppose one day your husband is at work and a female coworker seems to be attracted to him. How will you know he'll be faithful if he was unable to wait until marriage?

One day, young men you will stand before the one girl (if her daddy lets you this far) you'll love for all time. You will have to answer about your purity. Do you plan to lie? Please, do not awaken love before its time. If you do, you will regret it.

The Scarlet Letter We All Wear

But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matthew 5:32

This is a very overlooked bible verse because we often think of adultery as sex outside of marriage. Well sex outside of marriage most certainly is adultery. Here though, we see something much bigger and important.

Essentially, if a man divorces his wife he causes her to be an adulteress. She it would seem is an innocent party. The phrase"saving for the cause of fornication," is important. Obviously if she fornicates outside of marriage she causes the adultery not her husband. According to this verse, if she is put away or divorced when she does not cheat, she is still an adulteress. Huh! Yup! How can it be?

If we look at the context in Mt 5 we see Jesus really intensifying the law. We begin to see just how sinful we are compared to his righteous standard. Jesus says if you are angry with your brother that is murder and if you look at a woman lustfully that is adultery and so on. Along the same lines we understand from v 32 that adultery is not just sex outside of marriage but a breaking of a marriage covenant.

Anytime a marriage covenant is broken it's adultery. In divorce there are always two sides to the story. There is always a shared blame for a broken marriage covenant. I realize that some times it doesn't seem that way but it's true. What we can learn from this is that God standards are higher than ours. They are perfect. We all fall short daily. We need him and his righteousness. We get that righteousness when we trust in Jesus' death on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins. We are then a new creation in Christ. We can then experience a victorious life and God's will for marriage.

Has Jesus saved you from your sins? Ask Him. Do you want to honor Christ in your marriage? Ask Him. He will do it!

A Wealthy Man's Inheritance

House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD. Prov 19:14

Far too often we hear of instances where siblings bicker about possessions after their father passes away. Something has gone terribly wrong. After a man has lived his entire life, the worst comes forth from those who should have loved him the most. Now there is nothing wrong with leaving behind riches to your children. That is a good biblical concept. But sadly with man it often brings strife.

An inheritance is the sum of all a father has accomplished to leave behind to his loved ones. Hopefully there will be many memories of his love, care, and wisdom too. But things are very different with our LORD. He loves us too much to waste time with frivolous things of this world. This is not an inheritance that will decay or be devoured by moths. It is eternal. He blesses us with good and perfect gifts. He knows what is best for us even when we don't. He gives us a prudent wife. She has strength and wisdom and integrity in all she does. She is completely trustworthy as a companion and confidant.

Thank you Lord for a prudent wife. I can trust you completely because you have given something truly amazing in my wife.

God's Best Gifts

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Prov 18:22

I once heard a man say that marriage is more about holiness than happiness. I agree because when God brings together two sinful people there will be plenty of opportunities to mature as they grow in their relationship. Prov 27:17 says,"Iron sharpeneth iron." Maturing and growing is a good thing. We should expect that from time to time there may be some discomfort as you're growing up in God's grace together. But great will be your reward too.

In fact here it says finding a wife is obtaining favour from the LORD. Favour is delight, desire, and good pleasure. The best gift a man could ever have is Jesus, whom God sent to be the propitiation for our sins. Amen. Of all the other gifts in this life, a wife is the greatest. It is for our delight, our desire and our good pleasure. Celibacy, except for the few whom God gifts, is an evil. Remember, God said it is not good for a man to be alone. God's granting of a wife is an indication of his love and delight for us. That He would so deeply care for us as to bestow a beautiful bride as a companion and help meet. It is an indication that God will continue to give us good gifts even when we don't merit them.

Thank you Jesus for my wonderful bride. BTW she cooks great dinners(I know she reads this:). Are you thankful for your bride?

A Crown To Wear

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Prov 12:4

A virtuous woman is a woman of great character. She is truthful, good, loving, dutiful, submissive, pleasant, and gracious. Her life is characterized by an outpouring of favor to others, especially her husband.Her husband will trust her and delight in her. He knows the blessing that she is.

This idea of a crown has to do with beauty, joy and gladness. A bride and a groom would wear such a head dress. A husband of such a wife would have no need for such a crown. She is the crown. She will bring him praise and honor and respect from the community.

This is exponentially true in my life. Deja is my crown. I am blessed with a godly wife. Any honour that I may have derives from her. God continues to show me just how blessed I am in having her as my wife.

Thank you Jesus for Deja.

An Invincible Team

My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Prov 6:20

You might think that this has more to do with parenting than marriage. It probably does. That's how I have always thought. But this morning I saw something I'd never considered. I know it's true not only because it's God's word but from my own experience.

Good parenting requires a good marriage. You see, husband and wife must be of the same mind. They must believe the same things and teach the same things to accomplish anything. They must work together, pray together, be together, learn together, discipline together, worship together. This is very challenging but essential to the raising of godly children. This again is God's plan for marriage, to be one flesh.

Is there a unity between you and your wife? Are you on the same team? Husbands examine yourselves in this regard. Be involved in parenting and be reconciled to your wife.

A Marriage Report Card

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1Ptr 3:7

Although it's been a while since I've received a report card, God is very faithful in teaching me just how I am progressing in my relationships, especially with my wife. Recently, I drove my wife to tears. I had criticized something she had done. Not only was I very wrong in my criticism but I had hurt her.

I have repented and asked for forgiveness and I was reminded of this verse in 1Ptr. If we are going to be truly spiritual men then our prayers can not be hindered. There can't be a worse place to be in life than to have fellowship with God suffering. Our marriage is so important to God and his plan for each of us that He will put fellowship with Him on hold until we repent. And apart from God I can't accomplish anything.

It is important to understand that my wife is different from me. She is beautiful and feminine and I'm not. I am stronger and more courageous. I am to honour her, love her, nurture her, appreciate her because God made her this way. Thats what makes her a most suitable help meet in this first place. And most importantly she is equally created in God's image and an heir together with me in the grace of life.

A sobering reminder to love my wife.

The Good Water

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Prov 5:15,16

As was custom, every man had his own cistern in which to drink. This was the place where a man's thirst could be best quenched from the hot sun and a day of hard labor. It's water was good and pure and refreshing. He knew it's fine quality and where it came from. This was not water gathered from a muddy puddle. This water was a source of life.

Of course the "waters from your own cistern", is your wife, the wife of your youth. The proverb is teaching us about the life taking dangers of consorting with any woman other than your wife. It contrasts the seductuve wayward woman with the beauty and wonders of your very own wife. Yes, God is so good!

Marriage is a remedy against the many temptations that can entice a young man. Marriage is good, pure, and holy. It is a gift from God against a sinful bent in everyone of us that wants to gratify their own lust.

Your marriage is to be like a fountain bursting forth. This is a picture of the fruits of the relationship between husband and wife. Their love will overflow towards one another and others also. They will have children who will give refreshment to many. This is why marriage is so important in our communities. Much ministry and benefit to others flow out of this precious relationship.

Please men take heed. Drink the pure water from your own cistern!

The Fruit of Your Marriage

"Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD...Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house" Ps 128:1,3

We so often hear all about finding Mr. or Mrs. Right. That somehow someone who is not married simply hasn't found that perfect person yet. While that could be true, it was once explained to me another way. Marriage is more about becoming the right person than finding the right person.

Describing a godly wife as a fruitful vine is very appropriate. But where does a fruitful vine receive its nourishment? We know that Jesus said," I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, same bringeth forth much fruit." So abiding in Jesus will bring forth a fruitful life. Also don't overlook what the psalmist says here. He says if a husband will fear the Lord and walk in his ways then his wife will flourish. This is a beautiful picture of oneness in marriage.

If you're not closely walking with the Lord it will influence your spouse. If you regret the choice in marriage that you have made then examine yourself. God has made our wives to respond to us. She will likely thrive when we thrive. Trust the Lord and she will too.

Waiting For Your Wife

And Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah to wife, the daughter of Bethuel the Syrian of Padanaram, the sister to Laban the Syrian. Gen 25:20

Just before we learn about the birth of Jacob and Esau, the bible tells us that Isaac was 40 years old when he was married. 40 yrs old! Not many in our culture today would be excited at the prospect of waiting that long for marriage. Not many in the church would be content either.

I'm certain that Isaac's situation is not a standard that we all should aspire to. In fact Psalm 127:4 says, "As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth." Children of the youth means get married young and start having children. Now that is truly counter cultural. We don't like children that much. Our script reads, "let me finish college, get married, have a little career and then a boy for me and girl for you and then we're through."

But notice that Isaac was content, he did wait 40 yrs to be married. He didn't take matters into his own hands. He didn't join a singles group or join an internet dating service. No, he was all about the family business. He trusted his father. He knew his father loved him and wanted what was best for him.

Parents, please be involved with your children in choosing a spouse. Children, will you let your parents help you? They will provide insight that will prove quite valuable.

How to Find A Wife

The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence. Gen 24:7

When children begin to grow up, the question will usually arise,"Where do babies come from?" As parents we brace ourselves as we begin to answer... not wanting to divulge too much. In like manner, sometimes children will ponder about where their spouse will come from. How would you answer?

Abraham took an active role in finding his son Isaac a wife. He instructed his servant on where to go and from whom to look. He makes the servant take an oath not to take a canaanite woman for his son to marry. He sends the servant back to the land of his kindred. Abraham completely trusts the Lord to find Isaac a wife, "he shall send his angel before thee".

As christians we should find our spouse from among the children of God. They are our people, our true kindred. We should completely trust the Lord in these matters. Trust that he is preparing a spouse for you. God will make it plainly evident at the right time who they will be.

I've been married for nearly 17 years and can look back and see God's providential hand bringing me to my wife. He is good and trustworthy.

In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit

Recently, I had the opportunity to baptize my son, Everson. What kind of baptistry is that you ask? We do it Texas style... a cattle water trough.

The greatest thing is Everson's public profession of his faith in Jesus for the forgiveness of his sins.

Nothing can make this dad happier!

Purpose for Marriage

And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. Mal 2:15

Sadly today many people don't desire children. They do not see our Masters hand or his desire for us in this matter. Many others pursue having children but stop after one or two. They'll go to great lengths to stop having children using birth control or opting for some surgical procedure. The end result is less births.

Yet God declares not only that we should be married but also the reason why. God is very consistent in this matter. Here it says, "that he might seek a godly seed." Remember in the garden God said, "be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth..." Ps 127:5 says, "Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them."

I am thankful that my wife and I will be welcoming our soon to be sixth child. Parenting has strengthened our marriage immensely. It gives us a purpose for our marriage that is so much bigger than the two of us. This task is a very difficult one in our day and we need to depend on God and his word for direction.

God help us to raise up godly children.

Blessings,

Doug

God is a Witness

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. Mal 2:14

Just recently, I heard a sad story of a failed marriage. After more than 30 years of marriage, children, and grandchildren a husband left his wife claiming, "he never loved her!" Well that's hard to believe isn't it? So many men never grow up. They are so incredibly selfish and no nothing of the cross. Love has more to do with the character of the one who loves and not the worthiness of the object of our affections. God loves us not for our worthiness but because of who He is. Become more like Him. Be ye holy; for I am Holy(1 Ptr 1:16).

We're reminded here, we're warned here, that God is a witness to the covenant we have with our wife. She is the wife of our youth. There should be no do overs with who we marry. It is a covenant that we should nurture and protect. Fight for it. God can and wants to bless us through the wife of our youth.

Look men, if we are honest, we know that if anyone got a raw deal, it's our wives.

Rev. Joe Greive said,"...until God by death shall separate us or until the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Amen

When Marriage Is Not As Good

Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the LORD which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange god. Malichi 2:11

There is nothing to sidetrack or utterly corrupt a Christ follower than to enter into a marriage covenant with an unbeliever. Sometimes a spouse will come to faith in Jesus after marriage. Then you will have a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever. This is another matter and the bible does give specific instructions in these cases.

But Judah married a woman knowing she worshipped a false god. The bible is full of examples of men who have done this such as Esau, Samson, and Solomon. In a christian marriage our greatest commandment, our first priority is our Lord. This is the centerpiece of marriage, to love the One who created marriage. To disregard Him, it's impossible to really love(see 1Jn 4:8). A non-believing spouse will draw our hearts away from God more often than not.

My wife is a godly woman. Her relationship with Jesus is first. I see that every morning when she opens her bible. I know she can and does love me when she loves God first.

Is Jesus your first love? Love God and your wife!

My Arrows